I am health professionals wrestler. My wardrobe is basically a pair of creatively designed underwear that hugs my muscular frame and leaves little to the imagination.
My job description is to entertain devotees through body language, story lines featuring over-the-top characters and, well, coping other boys garmented in a similar way.
Understandably, being openly bisexual could be perceived as a number of problems. Its what retained me closeted to all but a few from the time I started wrestling as a pro five years ago. It took a Youtube video to construct me see that came to see you was not going to be their own problems I thought it would be.
It was this past fall and I was three months into a relationship with my boyfriend, Michael Pavano. Mike and I had uploaded a video to YouTube on his channel called The Laughing Challenge, where he described me as his boyfriend.
The video was a blast to do, but I worried that someone from the wrestling world would stumble across it and read my secret. I decided to let it be posted anyway.
Weeks afterward, I received a text that stimulated my stomach drop.
It was from my best friend in the wrestling business, and someone I specifically stimulated sure to keep my secret from. The text read: Bro, why didnt you tell me? I knew what they are signify but I played dumb. What do you entail? I responded. He answer was that he saw the video.
Much to my great succor, he told me he didnt care and that I was one of his best friends in the business.
He also said that some of the other wrestlers had watched it too and tip-off him off about it. I was relieved that he was cool with everything but a bit nervous because other wrestlers knew. It was after this that I came to the conclusion that I had a decision to make.
When I was a kid, I always said that when I grew up I wanted to make a difference in someones life. If you were to tell me that years later Id be doing so performing in front of thousands of people each month in the world of professional wrestling, I would have called you a liar.
I first entered the pro wrestling world when I was 21 and a year later entered the modeling/ acting business, signing a contract with BMG Models in New York City. I was living my daydream and I should have been the happiest person in “the worlds”. The true is, I wasnt. Externally I was, but deep down I was fighting on the inside with my sexuality. I was afraid to tell the world that I was bisexual.
Ever since high school I knew that was something different about me. I started to notice that Id consider a couple walk down the street and think how attractive both the guy and the girl were. It would become more prevalent as college rolled around and I received myself with a shitty love life.
Long before the hours each day pumping iron at the gym or body-slamming 230 -pound human being for a living, I was a skinny, shy and lovable kid that everyone enjoyed to be around. Basically, I was friend-zoned a majority of the time. Without much of a love life, I experimented on the other side of the barrier and was very comfortable with it.
I was comfortable with the thought of being bisexual but not the thought of other people knowing. At the time, I was playing baseball at Seton Hall University, where the whole squad would shower together. I definitely couldnt have them know my secret, because in my brain I thought they would get a awful impression. They were my brothers and my dreads were irrational, but its hard not to think they wouldnt seem a certain way.