She might not trust you as much as you think: 1 in ten girls admit to spying on their husbands emails and text messages, according to a recent survey of 1,000 married people from One Poll, a research company in the U.K.
In fact, 1 in 20 girls have gone as far as downloading secret tracking software to their husbands telephones.
Whats more, a past investigate found that 44 percentage of the 920 couples surveyed had at least one collaborator monitoring the others behavior, like reading emails and texts. When one person was doing the snooping, it was significantly more likely to be the wife checking up on the husband.
Related: 5 Style Your Phone Will Get You Dumped
( Although, to be clear, men are guilty of snooping, too .)
So what if shes delving through your old text or browser history? And what should you do about it? Heres what you need to know.
Why Do People Snoop ?
People snoop because theyre suspicious, says marriage and family therapist, Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D.
Yes, that means that your collaborator probably doesnt trust you completely.
Losing trust in someone actually throws your torso in a state of hyper-awareness that makes you to obsessively check for things that could hurt you emotionally, says Hokemeyer.
Related: 9 Relationship Problems That Arent
People who snoop look for confirmation that their partner is up to no good, says Hokemeyer. Just like a successful lawyer necessity hard evidence to convict a person was accused of international crimes, a snooper seems they need more than only their intuition to prove their partner is untrustworthy.
They could have been dishonor in the past for bringing up touchy topics, like infidelity, or someone they trusted hurt them, so they look for evidence to back up suspicious feelings.
Related: 6 Signs Shes Thinking Of Cheating
What Should You Do If You Catch Your Partner Snooping?
You might be thinking: Its not a big deal, because I have nothing to hide.
But thats not necessarily true-life. What she detects( or fails to find) isnt their own problems, says Hokemeyer, because eventually shes going to come upon something that could be placed out of context.
If you catch her in the purposes of the act, apply this response: To be honest, Im somewhat devastated you dont feel you can trust me, and had to go to these lengths to dig up evidence to prove Im not what I claim to be.
Then pause and ask calmly: Why didnt you just come out and ask questions? indicates Hokemeyer.
Ask her where her feelings of mistrust are coming from, says Hokemeyer. All snooping is toxic to a relationship, so country firmlies and clear that it shouldnt happen again by telling her This isnt acceptable.
( For more tips on maintaining your bond strong in and out of the bedroom, check out How to Pleasure a Womanthe Mens Health complete guide to becoming a lord lover .)
If you feel like talking through her feelings isnt getting you anywhere, you should consider couples therapy, says Hokemeyer. If the snooping gets permeating and she continues to do it over and over again, it will make never-ending conflict between both of you.
Set a time frame for how long youre willing to try and work through it, says Hokemeyer. If you cant rebuild confidence and respect between each other within six to nine months, opportunities are youre better off aiming it than putting up with it.
One caveat: If her snooping capture you cheating, dont shifting the blame on her for doing some diggingand definitely dont continue to deny it.
Own the truth, says Hokemeyer, then listen to her and respond to her feelings.( Here How to Recover From Cheating .)
This article originally appeared on MensHealth.com .