She might not trust you as much as you think: 1 in 10 ladies admit to spying on their husbands emails and text messages, according to a recent survey of 1,000 married people from One Poll, studies and research company in the U.K.
In fact, 1 in 20 ladies going to go as much as is downloading secret tracking software to their husbands telephones.
Whats more, a past survey found that 44 percent of the 920 pairs surveyed had at least one spouse monitoring the others behavior, like reading emails and texts. When one person was doing the snoop, it was significantly more likely to be the spouse checking up on the husband.
Related: 5 Behavior Your Phone Will Get You Dumped
( Although, to be clear, humankinds are guilty of snoop, too .)
So what if shes delving through your age-old texts or browser history? And what should you do about it? Heres what you need to know.
Why Do People Snoop ?
People snoop because theyre suspicious, says wedding and family healer, Paul Hokemeyer, Ph.D.
Yes, that means that your spouse likely doesnt trust you altogether.
Losing trust in someone actually sets your body in a state of hyper-awareness that causes you to obsessively check for things that could hurt you emotionally, says Hokemeyer.
Related: 9 Relationship Problems That Arent
People who snoop look for confirmation that their partner is up to no good, says Hokemeyer. Just like a successful lawyer necessity hard indication to convict a person was accused of a crime, a snooper seems they need more than just their intuition to prove their partner is untrustworthy.
They could have been dishonor in the past for bringing up touchy topics, like infidelity, or someone they trusted hurt them, so they look for indication to back up suspicious feelings.
Related: 6 Signs Shes Thinking Of Cheating
What Should You Do If You Catch Your Partner Snooping?
You might be thinking: Its not a big deal, because I have nothing to hide.
But thats not inevitably true. What she acquires( or fails to find) isnt their own problems, says Hokemeyer, because eventually shes going to come upon something that could be placed out of context.
If you catch her in the purposes of the act, utilize this reply: To be honest, Im pretty devastated you dont feel you can trust me, and had to go to these lengths to dig up indication to prove Im not what I claim to be.
Then pause and ask calmly: Why didnt you just come out and ask me? suggests Hokemeyer.
Ask her where her sentiments of mistrust are coming from, says Hokemeyer. All snooping is toxic to a relationship, so country securelies and clear that it shouldnt happen again by telling her This isnt acceptable.
( For more tips on maintaining your bond strong in and out of the bedroom, check out How to Pleasure a Womanthe Mens Health complete guidebook to becoming a lord devotee .)
If you feel like talking through her sentiments isnt get you anywhere, you should consider pairs therapy, says Hokemeyer. If the snooping gets pervasive and she continues to do it again and again, it will induce never-ending conflict between both of you.
Set a time frame for how long youre willing to try and work through it, says Hokemeyer. If you cant rebuild confidence and respect between each other within six to nine months, opportunities are youre better off ending it than putting up with it.
One caveat: If her snooping catch you cheating, dont switching the blamed on her for doing some diggingand definitely dont followed up with deny it.
Own the truth, says Hokemeyer, then listen to her and respond to her sentiments.( Heres How to Recover From Cheating .)
This article originally appeared on MensHealth.com .